Wading into the Unknown (Part 1 of Death, Dying & the Legal System)

Over the last several months, I’ve found myself in a similar position as that of my ancestors prior to me.  The reality that a loved one’s life will be ending.  Of course we all know that death will be the final outcome for all of us and for all of those we love, and when it is an expected death, we generally have the knowledge we can say our good-byes and have one last visit.  The expectation is still very difficult to face as we begin to second guess the doctors’ treatments, the guilt of not being there more often, or for not having more control over everything.

Guilt usually plays a larger part than we like to think it does.  Should I have called more?  Should I have tried to visit more often?  Should I have made sure all the final arrangements were made?  Should I have made sure all the legalities were addressed?  How long do the questions continue?  For what length of time should I dwell on the negative?

Not wanting to seem unfeeling or cold or that it didn’t matter, I had to put the guilt aside almost immediately after my mother’s death.  I chose to live 900 miles away.  I did call every day.  I couldn’t have taken a more active role in her health care unless I had lived closer.  Now, the legal stuff – well that’s another question altogether.

Thanks to my sister (especially), my mother was able to die at home – just where she wanted to be.  She did not linger on for days and days – something she truly did not want.  She had her family at her side – obviously what she wanted.  And she wasn’t in any pain and was very peaceful – something she had hoped.

Knowing death is imminent and being there when it happens, is two very different things.  However, we were able to rejoice that she was no longer suffering; no longer fighting to hang on to life where the quality had decreased; no longer frightened of death.  As Christians, we know she is with our Lord and Savior, and is now one of our many Guardian Angels who has gone on before us.

I have extended my sympathies to others who have lost a parent.  I have dealt with the loss of a sibling.  Yet, until the loss of a parent happens to you, there is no amount of empathy you can have – because you have not felt that pain or loss.  It has been almost two months since my mother passed away.  I miss talking to her each day.  I want to tell her about my daughter’s new home, the heat we are experiencing, or how ridiculous I’m discovering the legal system can be – but I can’t do that in person anymore.  I really am okay – even though some have told me that I’m not okay.  I know where Mom has gone, and I know she is with me each day.  I know she’s in a much better place.  Will I miss her for the rest of my life?  Of course I will.  But being okay is what she would have wanted for her family.

I owe my mother thanks for the courage I have found in the face of her death.  Due to the strength she had modeled for me amidst the storms life had thrown at her over her lifetime, I found my own strength to prepare for and move forward at the time of this crisis.

Coming: The Journey (Part 2)

Sneak Peak

As most of you have learned, I recently returned home after being away for over a month.  I had gone to Ohio for a week over Easter while my mother was in the hospital and returned the end of April just before she passed away.  I spent most of May cleaning out her home and trying to make sense of what she had kept for so many years.

I wrote many months ago about some of the treasures I had come across early in my genealogy quest – letters my grandparents wrote to each other, old photos, and more.  And I incorrectly assumed there wouldn’t be much more to add – boy was I wrong!

Not only did I find more old photos, but I found my grandparents’ framed marriage certificate that had hung on their bedroom wall most of my growing up years, as well as marriage certificates of my great-grandparents!  It will take me quite a while to go through all the documents I discovered not to mention the hours of scanning that will be involved.

First, I must clean out my own clutter.  I’ve made a head start on that – but have much more to do before I feel that I’ve accomplished the goals I’ve set for myself.  And due to that reason, I’ll be slow to post some of my exciting finds.

I also want to write a multi-part post about my recent experiences as I navigated the whole death, dying, saying good-bye, final preparations, and the Ohio legal system.  Stay tuned – and thanks for sticking around!

I’m Back

Thanks to all my Faithful Readers who have continued to check in regularly on this blog.  I’ve been out of state for a month and a half dealing with my mother’s recent death and taking care of things.  It will be awhile before I get back to posting regularly but I wanted to let you all know where I’ve been. 

And to all the “newbie” readers who have found my blog in the last month or so  – thanks for the comments!

Immigrant Ancestors

This is a list of my ancestors who immigrated to America.

Adam Goul: My 4th g-grandfather.  About 1763 from Germany to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.  Adam was a young boy traveling onboard ship with his mother, father – Frederick, and a sister.  All but Adam died on the voyage.

Adam Lutz: My 5th g-grandfather.  (father-in-law of Adam Goul) about 1749 from Rotterdam on the Lydia.  (source: Pennsylvania Genealogical Magazine, Baptisms from the Church Book of German Reformed Church of Philadelphia)

Jacob Blazer (or Blaser): My 5th g-grandfather.  Came from Baden (German) via Holland late 1700s and settled in the Shenandoah Valley.  Traveled to Gallia County, Ohio and settled there by 1803. (source: Blazer Family History, credited to Dan Blazer and Aileen Blazer Rush – no date given)

James Arbuckle: My 6th g-grandfather.  Born Glasgow, Scotland and died in Virginia.  (source: Jacqueline Ann Richardson – no supporting documentation)

John Madison: My 9th g-grandfather. Born in England about 1620, died in Virginia.  (source: Kenneth Soper – no supporting documentation)

Johannes Kohler (Caylor): My 4th g-grandfather.  Born in Germany in mid 1700s, immigrated to Philadelphia on ship Britannia in August 1767. (source: paper sent by Ann Hastings from a paper received by Dr. Truman Caylor in a letter to Evelyn Caylor from a church paper.)

Johannes Kuntzi: My 6th g-grandfather.  Surname later changed to Kinsey.  Born in Switzerland about 1724 and died about 1761 in Berks County, Pennsylvania.  (source: Robert Mark Sharp “The Kinsey Family”)

Hans Peter Wampler: My 6th g-grandfather.  Born about 1722 in France and died in Frederick County, Maryland.  Lived in Schuykill County, Pennsylvania by Sep 1743 when he married Anna Maria Brenneissen (also born in Germany). (source: World Family Tree – no supporting documentation)

John Miller: My 6th g-grandfather.  Born in France in 1724 and was in Somerset County, Pennsylvania by Jan 1848 when he married Magdalena Lehman. (source: Rose Patrick – no supporting documentation)

Christian Yoder: My 6th g-grandfather.  Born in Bern, Switzerland in 1722 and was in Berks County, PA. by 1752.  (source: Greg Raven, Blickensderfer and related families – no supporting documentation)

Barbara Beiler: (Christian Yoder’s wife) My 6th g-grandmother.  Also born in Bern, Switzerland about 1723. (source: Rose Patrick – no supporting documentation)

Unknown Amore: My 3rd g-grandfather.  Born in England and was in New York by 1828 when my 2nd g-grandfather, William Amore, was born.  (source: 1880 US Census, Franklin County, Coshocton County, Ohio, Enumeration District No. 45 – William Amore lists his father’s birthplace as England)

Peter Werts: My 5th g-grandfather.  Born 1737 probably in Germany and married in 1758 in Maryland. 

Rosina Feurstein: My 5th g-grandmother.  Baptised in a Alsace, France and was married by 1768 in Maryland. Immigrated with her parents, Nicholas & Anna Catherina (Nonnenmacher) on the ship “Peggy”, captained by James Abercombie, Master.  Arrived in Philadelphia from Rotterdam (where they left after fleeing Alsace) on September 24, 1753.  (source: The Firestone Family History and German Pioneers to America, Passenger Listss)

Benjamin Maple: My 7th g-grandfather.  Immigrated from Ipswich, England in 1864 on the ship “Friendship”.  Ended up in Barbados as an indentured servant for four years.  Afterwards, he went to New Jersey.  This man and none of his descendents ever owned slaves. (source: Mark Freeman, Mostly Southern, no supporting documentation)

Those individuals that I have no supporting documentation for will have to be researched further until evidence is found of their immigration, marriages, deaths, etc.

Friday Fun – Oldest Living Relative

In honor of my aunt’s upcoming birthday, I wanted to pay her a tribute.  My dad’s sister will be celebrating her 100th birthday soon!  Since she is still living I won’t post many vitals in order to maintain some privacy. 

I haven’t seen her since the early 1970’s yet she was a constant in my life as a young child.  She was my favorite aunt – being as I only knew two out of three of my aunts.  My mother’s sister had passed away a few years before I was born, and my dad’s oldest sister just seemed “older”.  Aunt “M” was always giving puppet shows to the kids during family reunions and get-togethers.  She seemed to really enjoy the young ones.  Not only did she visit us when there wasn’t a reunion to attend, but we went to visit her in Pennsylvania once.  One of my daughters’ middle name is in honor of her.

Aunt “M” was very active in the Salvation Army and attended the college in New York as a young woman.  She rose to the rank of Major as time progressed. 

When I began this genealogy quest ten years ago, she was one of the first relatives to respond to my many questions and letters.  She even called several times – to a niece that she hadn’t seen in many, many years.  I still keep in contact with her daughter through email and Christmas cards and get updates on Aunt “M”. 

Happy Birthday! 

So who is your oldest living relative?

Found Addresses

During my most recent visit to Ohio, I came across some old address books.  One appeared to have belonged to my mother from eons ago and the other was my grandparents’ that she kept after they passed away. 

I learned a few things by thumbing through the pages of these books.  The first was that my grandfather was a very meticulous person.  He actually typed up addresses and pasted them in at the correct spots alphabetically.  When someone died, he would cross out their name and mark “Decased” along with a date.  That only helps me when it was a relative yet it gets me wondering how my grandparents felt each time a long-time friend or a relative died.  There it was in black and white (and sometimes red pencil) – subtracting each friend from their life – through the pages of an address book.

Another thing I learned was that my grandfather actually had addresses for relatives I wasn’t sure he had ever met.  I was unsure if he had met his Aunt Rachel’s family until I saw names and addresses listed.  At the very least they corresponded once a year with a Christmas card. 

My mother’s old address book was a little different.  Not many addresses were marked through with “Deceased” but because of the person moving to a new residence.  That was a big difference between the two books.  Most of the people my grandparents knew stayed in the same place and the only changes were either closer to a child or to a nursing home as they aged or to sunny places such as Florida, California or Arizona.  The people my mother tracked moved due to military service, new job offers, a change of scenery, etc. 

Isn’t it amazing what a few pages from address books can tell you?  Not only about the people written in the pages but the person who kept up with it?

Happy One Year Blogoversary to Me!

I almost missed it!  One year ago yesterday I began my genea-blog journey.  I’ve met many wonderful genealogists and historians along the way and learned some valuable researching points.  I’ve had over 12,000 visits and written 269 posts and had 276 comments left.

Thanks to all of you – my faithful readers and those who are just stopping by for the first time!

Still Not Really Back

Sorry – said I was going to start posting again but that won’t be happening soon.  There is a major family health crisis that took me out of state for over a week.  I’m trying to play catch up and figure out what normal really is.  I did bring back with me some interesting objects – what looks like charcoal drawings or something of some of my ancestors that I did not even know existed.  Too big to scan – will have to photograph them.  But that won’t be for awhile.  I ask for all the prayers directed toward my loved one – for their comfort in this difficult time. 

Thanks to all of you –  my faithful readers and friends – for your continued patience.

Why I Haven’t Posted Lately

Unfortunately life has become rather stressful as of late so I haven’t written any new posts.  I’ve missed the last two Carnivals of Genealogy as well as several Tombstone Tuesday’s and Wordless Wednesdays. 

I have done quite a bit of research in the last few weeks which has provided some new information and areas still to be checked.

As soon as Easter is over, I will (hopefully) be posting again on a regular basis!

But for now, head on over to West in New England and read the 69th Carnival of Genealogy. Kudos to Bill West for hosting this edition and to all the genea-bloggers who contributed!

Who’s Your Daddy?

Each Saturday evening, Randy Seaver over at Genea-Musings posts Saturday Night Genealogy Fun – a little game for all the geneabloggers. Unfortunately due to my recent schedule I haven’t been able to play as often as I’d like. But when I saw this post on Your Paternal Grandmother’s Patrileneal Line”, I couldn’t resist. So what if I’m a couple days late!

What was your father’s mother’s maiden name?
My paternal grandmother was Ella Maria HOUSE.  She was born June 22, 1882 and died on July 3, 1946 in Coshocton, Ohio.

What was your father’s mother’s father’s name?
Ella’s father was James Emory HOUSE.  I wrote a biography that you can find here.  He was born May 2, 1842 and died October 1, 1924 in Coshocton, Ohio.

What is your father’s mother’s father’s patrilineal line? That is, his father’s father’s father’s … back to the most distant male ancestor in that line?
The father of James Emory HOUSE was Florus Allen House born January 5, 1813 in New York and died June 25, 1891 in Coshocton, Ohio.

The father of Florus was Allen HOUSE born June 13, 1791 in Hartford County, Connecticut and died September 1, 1845 in Milford, Michigan.

Allen’s father was Lazarus HOUSE born April 14, 1748 and died after 1817 in Hartford County, Connecticut.

Lazarus’ father was William HOUSE born September 9, 1713 and died March 20, 1788 in Hartford County, Connecticut.

William’s father was also William HOUSE born abt. 1684 and died in 1742 in Hartford County, Connecticut.

William’s father was another William HOUSE born in 1642 and died 1703/1704 in Hartford County, Connecticut.  He may have been born either in Connecticut or England.  It is thought that he traveled from England to America as a crewmember on board ship.  Very little is documented about this man.

William’s father was John HOUSE (HOWSE) born about 1610 in Somersetshire, England and died in 1644 in Connecticut.  This informaton is still speculation and has never been documented.

Can you identify male sibling(s) of your father’s mother, and any living male descendants from those male sibling(s)? If so, you have a candidate to do a Y-DNA test on that patrilineal line. If not, you may have to find male siblings, and their descendants, of the next generation back, or even further.
Ella had six brothers and one half-brother (through her father). 

Her half-brother, Edward HOUSE had one son, Waldo, who died in 1966.  Waldo has two sons – still believed to be living – Richard and Donald and Donald has one son – Dan.

Ella’s oldest full brother, Florus (named after his grandfather), had 3 sons.  It is believed there are still several male descendents still living.

Brother, John, had one son who died in 1983.  I don’t know if he had any male descendents.

Brother, Alford Elmer, died at age 4.

Brother, James, had two sons – Raymond and Wilbur.  The latter died at age 1.  I have no further information on Raymond.

Brother, Charles, died at age 12 in a farming accident.

Brother, Alva Lester (see Part One and Part Two of his biography), had three sons.  Arthur died at age 2 months from pneumonia.  His last child, an unnamed male, was stillborn.  His fourth child, Jarold, had four sons – all presumed to still be living.  Jarold died in 1980.

The conclusion is that there are still several males to do a Y-DNA test on – however, I’ve never actually met any of these men so the odds of the test being done are slim to none!